


Stay With Me, Castiel

by winchesterbabe (remedyrogue)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Dean Has Nightmares, Dean Has Self-Worth Issues, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-12-04 03:49:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11546892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remedyrogue/pseuds/winchesterbabe
Summary: "“Stay with me.” Dean chokes out, the only coherent thing that swims to the front of his mind, and out of his mouth. He tries to defend it almost instantly. “I mean, just for tonight.”"Dean Winchester's bed, mind, and heart are mercilessly cold until Castiel comes to warm them up.





	Stay With Me, Castiel

Dean Winchester doesn’t feel remembered as he sinks into his memory foam bed. He’s finished the nightly routine of shower, shave, and brushing his teeth (He’s a stickler for perfect dental hygiene). He doesn’t feel like himself as he turns out the lights, plunging him into. He doesn’t bother trying to fix the sheets as he slides underneath them. They pool at his waist as he begins to toss and turn almost immediately.

The deflating thoughts come early.

And they’re pushing Dean down into the mattress, making him feel like he’s sinking through the bed and into a tunnel right below it, next destination where he belongs: _hell._ The usual thoughts come to him: the fact that he couldn’t save his mother (despite being only a toddler at the time, he still blames himself for it), being the direct cause of his father’s death, Ellen’s, Jo’s, Ash’s, Bobby’s. He also thinks about how Sam’s died more than once, the situations’ details beginning to haze around the edges as he starts to forget them. The only things that will eventually remain are the auras of pain and failure that surround the memories as they strangle him in bed. Then, something new wedges its way into his head, and it takes over every goddamn thing he’s used to swirling around his head.

_Cas._

He thinks about how far Cas has fallen, from pure angel to broken man, all because he pulled Dean’s ass out of a place he damn well should’ve stayed. He remembers how many times he’s used Cas like a mechanic would use a wrench. He thinks about how he let Cas stay in Purgatory, with all those monsters crawling out of every orifice of the forest-like environment to tear the angel to pieces over and over again. 

Dean’s not used to thinking about Cas so explicitly, and the vision he gained while adjusting to the darkness coats over, a tear sliding down his temple and disappearing into his sandy-blond hair. 

_“Cas,”_ Dean doesn’t even know he sobs out the ex-angel’s name until it’s floating through the air and reverberating in his ears. His voice is thick with the emotion clogging and burning his throat like hot tar.

“Dean?” Castiel peeks his head in the doorway, nudging the door open a little more. The light from the hall pours into the bedroom, and Dean sits up cautiously, wiping his face with the back of his hand. “I can’t sleep," he adds. He leans against the door frame awkwardly, a quirk he picked up shortly after becoming human. 

“What do you want me to do about it?” Dean snaps, and Castiel slides back out of the doorway fearfully. Dean kicks himself mentally, and shakes his head, “Sorry.” The burning returns to his throat as he utters the small apology. 

Cas walks in fully, closing the door a little bit behind him with his foot. “Are you alright, Dean?” Despite the room being barely lit, Dean feels like Castiel is dissecting him with his eyes. _“Were you crying?”_

“No!” Dean hops on the defensive, voice still thick and froggy. He’s never one to show too much emotion; he’s a hunter, not a damn hippie. And he’s not completely wrong either, because he’s still got tears running down his face and staining the sheets. He knows Cas can most likely see it, because all he does is drop the pillow he brought in onto the floor, drowsily waddle to the bed, and sit next to him. He pulls Dean into an awkward hug, and Dean smells cinnamon and vanilla coming from him.

“Dean, it is okay to cry. You are not weak for it,” Castiel tells Dean softly,“ Contrary; You are the strongest person I have ever met.” He coos, his deep voice tickling Dean’s hair. He kisses the top of Dean’s head softly.

And just like that, Dean unravels. A coherent Dean would be yelling about now _(“Dammit, I’m fine!”)_ , but this Dean hates the fact that he unwinds so easily in Castiel’s arms. He lets the tears stain the ratty tour shirt from 1987 Castiel stole from Dean’s wardrobe. Castiel says nothing, rubbing circles into Dean’s back silently. Dean is blubbering, not making crying noises, but just talking out of his ass, about whatever. Suddenly Castiel is rocking them both back and forth slowly, like a mother would rock a baby. 

“Dean, are you feeling better now-”

 _“Stay with me.”_ Dean chokes out, the only coherent thing that swims to the front of his mind, and out of his mouth. He tries to defend it almost instantly. “I mean, just for tonight.” 

“I’m not going anywhere Dean. C’mon, lay down for me.” Dean complies, snuggling under the sheets. Cas slips in between the sheets, and Dean lays on top, squishing his cheek into Cas’ chest. Castiel whispers sweet nothings to Dean while rubbing his back, until Dean finally falls asleep.

Castiel sighs as Dean begins to snore. He continues to rub Dean’s back, until he falls asleep too, their breathing mingling as they both get the sleep they’ve needed.

**Author's Note:**

> im not even gonna lie, as i write this note its 3AM and i found this in my google drive and it made me cry. 
> 
> i hope you enjoyed this feels trip


End file.
